Ranking the NFL Network Experts

How have the NFL Network fantasy experts faired over the years? Lets review the show we watch before the Redzone begins airing at 1pm.

Michael Fabiano: Fabulous Fabiano aka the Mayor of Munchinville is the leader of this motley crew of fantasy picking misfits. Although Fabiano is a bit redundant and bland in his projections week by week (seriously starting Adrian Peterson isn’t fantasy advice Fabs), he’s clearly the most successful out of all the experts when it comes to picking. That being said, his numbers in total are nothing to write home about. In 2014, out of 125 experts, Fabiano finished as the 70th best expert in the weekly rankings and was the 67th best in the preseason draft rankings. Perhaps Fabs should stick to making delicious cookies in trees rather than ranking fantasy experts?

Adam Rank: Arguably no fantasy expert has been as consistently shitty as Rank has been over the years. For a man named Rank, he’s awfully terrible at it. On fantasypros.com, only 29 fantasy experts have made picks over the last five years on the site. Rank is one of them. In fact, he’s 29th out of 29. Oh, and my favorite mouth-breather Yahoo’s Brad Evans is 23rd (Just so you know how shitty Rank is at picking). After a 2013 finish of 110th out of 124th, Rank was even worse last year finishing in 117th out of 125th. Rank’s picking skills are rather rank don’t you think?

Akbar Gbaja-Biamilia: The only former player on the show, AGB was actually the best last year in picking prior to the season with a 58th finish in draft rankings. However, he was one of the worst during the regular season finishing in 119th out of 125 experts. Much like his lackluster NFL career, AGB missed the mark on his picks.

Marcas Grant: If Marcus Grant picked for 5 straight years as Rank had, he’s be the worst fantasy expert on the list. Grant has never finished better than 121st on the list. In 2013, Grant was nearly the worst fantasy expert on the site finishing in 123rd out of 124 spots. Then in 2014, after finishing in 95th in draft rankings, Grant was 121st out of 125 spots. So far this year, Grant is 126th out of 132 spots. Marcus Grant is fantasy picking poison. Cover your ears when he’s talking.

Matt Smith: The man they call “Money” would be broke if he lived off picking fantasy stars. Smith finished in 118th in draft rankings in 2014 and 122nd out of 125 experts. I’ll take easy on Smith considering he has a voice like Barry White’s and is really just there to play host and moderate these other shitty experts.

So in total, nfl.com’s fantasy team had 4 of the 9 worst fantasy experts last year in picking games. “That helps no one!”