NFL QB Competitions

The results are in.

Lets take a look around the league at what QBs prevailed in their respected franchise’s quarterback competitions.

Washington Redskins: RG3 vs Kirk Cousins vs Colt McCoy

In the most talked about QB competition, Redskins head coach Jay Gruden elected to go with the upset pick (well in media popularity) and selected perceived backup Kirk Cousins (no relation to Kirk Cameron) over that other Subway pitchman aka RG3. Indeed, it was a rough month for Subway pitchmen. Watch out Michael Strahan. You’re next. Ironically, McCoy was probably the best performer last season and in short term likely gives Washington the best chance of winning, but Kirk Cousins fits that Jay Gruden offensive mold of a quarterback meaning less running and more errant passing (like Andy Dalton did in Cincinatti). So long RG3. You’re now a $17 million per year backup.

Houston Texans: Brian Hoyer vs Ryan Mallett

It’s a Hard Knocks life out there and these two former New England backups while Texans head coach Bill O’Brien was also with the Patriots squared off for the starting job this training camp. Hoyer won 7 games in Cleveland last year and in a strange twist was replaced by a quarterback that went 1-10 as a starter for Tampa for twice as much money as he signed for in Houston. He was the favorite over Mallett who has only played in spurts over his short career which ended with injury last season. Hoyer won the job and will start at the beginning of the season for the Texans.

Cleveland Browns: Josh McCown vs Johnny Manziel

Speaking of that wacky 35 year old career backup that only won a single game last year in 11 attempts, in a strange twist of fate, Josh McCown actually was given a small raise and a three year contract this off season. Perhaps Cleveland thinks their offensive line can protect McCown and give him time to make plays down the field. Or perhaps they desire the first pick in the draft three consecutive seasons. Either way, McCown is basically the silent winner of the job considering Johnny Eightball hurt his elbow and didn’t even play in the third preseason game; whereas McCown played very well. In the battle in which both quarterbacks blow (one at football and the other an illegal substance), McCown was the victor.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Jameis Winston vs Mike Glennon

This wasn’t really a competition with Jameis being handed the reigns over the Red Giraffe at the start of training camp.

Tennessee Titans: Marcus Mariota vs Zach Mettenberger

Again, not really a competition.

Buffalo Bills: Matt Cassel vs EJ Manuel vs Tyrod Taylor

In what was likely the strangest of NFL quarterback competitions, foot-loving head coach Rex Ryan had to choose between three less-than-stellar options. Matt Cassel was acquired in the offseason from Minnesota via trade and was the experienced yet shitty option. Former Nole and first round pick EJ Manuel was considered the maybe a draft bust maybe a chance to revitalize his career option,. And Tyrod Taylor was considered the other guy aka the guy that videotapes Rex Ryan’s foot fetish videos in the corner of the room. Surprisingly, the Bills are going with Taylor who used to backup Joe Flacco in Baltimore.

Philadelphia Eagles: Sam Bradford vs Mark Sanchez

It’s debatable whether or not this was a competition or not. Bradford was the last first overall pick before the CBA put a cap on the rookie salaries, so he makes a small fortune making it harder to think the Eagles would trade some valuable picks for a pricey backup. Sanchez, on the other hand, was pretty solid last season, but came up short at the end of the season. Really the only reason this was likely considered a competition is because Sam Bradford is basically Mr. Glass. Well Bradford is not injured yet and actually played great down the stretch, so he’s the man in Philly for Eagles fans to throw rotten vegetables at this season.

New York Jets: Geno Smith vs Ryan Fitzpatrick

This wasn’t supposed to be much of a quarterback competition, but Ol’ Glassjaw Geno learned what happens when Keepin’ It Real Goes Wrong. Fitzpatrick is the starter by the two sweetest words in the English dictionary (according to Homer Simpson), de fault.